हामी

25) केटा “सेक्स गर्दा केतीलाई पानी मजा आउछ तर पनी कीन केटाले मात्रा पैसा तिर्नु पर्छ ?
केटी – बेवकुफ थाहा छैन आउट गोइङ्को मात्र चार्ज लाग्छ इन्कोमीङ्को लाग्दैन भनेर

24) भीड गाडीमा अंकल्ले केटीलाई आफ्नो काख्मा राख्यो

एक्छीन पछी केटी जुरुक्क उठदै भन्यो ” तपाईं या त मलाई बसाउनुस् या उसलाई बसाउनुस्”

२3) एक नाङ्गो केटीले बारमा पेग को अर्डर गर्दै,-

वेटर हेरेको हेरेकै भयो ।

केटी - कहिले नाङ्गो केटी देखेको छैनौ ।

वेटर- होईन सोचिराको छु पैसा कहाँबाट निकाल्नुहुन्छ

२२) एकजना केटीले छ वटा जुम्ल्याहा जन्मायो र रिसले श्रीमानकोमा आएर जोडले एकै थप्प्ड हिर्काउँदै भन्यो

केटी - म तिमीलाई भन्दिनथ, डगरीर् इस्र्टाईलले नगर भनेर ………….

२१ ) केटाले केटीलाई बसमा म्यान- म्याम,

केटीले रिसाउँदै भनी- तिमीलाई के मतलब सुन्तला मेरो हो ।

केटा- हो, तर जुस त मेरो निक्लिरहेछ ।

२०) सारा रात बित्यो त्रि्रो पखाईमा तर तिमी आएनौ,

त्यसैले हल्लाएर सुँते ।

डर्टर्ीर्ैैाईन्ड

लाईट आएन…………… पङ्खा हल्लाएर सुत्नु पर्‍यो ।

१९) छोरी -छेउको केटाले हर्ेन बित्तिकै मेरो ब्रा र्टाईट हुन्छ

उसको अण्डरवेयर र्टाईट हुन्छ ।

१८) केटीले केटालाई भीडभाड भएको बसमा

केटी - एक्सक्युज मी, तपाई राम्रो गरीरहनु भएको छैन ।

मान्छे- यति भीडमा यो भन्दा राम्रो गर्न सक्दिन ।

१७) स्पीन वलर - डार्लिङ के म त्रि्रो पहिलो प्रेम हो ।

श्रीमती- अब बेवकुफ स्पाईनरले कहिले ओपनिङ गर्छ

१६ )श्रीमती- मेरो ब्रा खोल

श्रीमान- ल खोँले ।

श्रीमती- मेरो पेन्टी खोल ।

श्रीमान- ल यो पनि खोँले ।

श्रीमती- खबरदार अब देखि मेरो अन्डरगार्मेन्ट लाग्यौ भने ………….

15) केटा – यदी मैले तीमीलाई कीस गरे भने तीमी के गर्छौ ?
केटी – म सम्झन्छु एउटा बेवकुफ थीयो जो पुरा देश घुम्न सक्थियो तर एअर पोत बाट नै फर्कीयो

१४) हृवाटर््र् इज दे मस्ट सेन्सेटिभ पार्ट अफ दे बडी ड्युरिङ मस्ट मस्टरबेसन

आन्सर - लिसनिङ फुटस्टेप ।

१३) टीचर - कुन चीज मुखमा राख्नु हँुदैन

-स्टुडेन्ट - बलिराखेको बल्भ ।

टीचर- किन

स्टुडेन्ट - हिजो राति आमाले बुवासँग भन्दैहुनुन्थ्यो बल्भ निभाउनु भयो भने मात्र मुखमा राख्छु ।

१२) लेडी टु नोकर्नी - त सबै काममा बेकार छस् ।

नोकर्नी- बेडमा तपाई भन्दा राम्रो छु

लेडी- तँलाई साहेबले भन्यो

नोकर्नी - होईन डराईभरले भनेको ।

११) फ्याक्ट अफ लाईफ

१) गरीब र बुब्स जहिले पनि दबिन्छ ।

२) समस्या र लाडो कुनै पनि बेला खाँदा हुनसक्छ ।

३) भाग्य र ब्रा कुनै बेला पनि खुल्न सक्छ ।

१०) म्यान वान् - भन्छन् आईमाईको हातमा जादु हुन्छ ।

म्यान टु- एकदम सही हो, तीन इन्चको चीज हातमा दियो भने नौ इन्चको बनाई दिन्छ ।

८ ) म्यान - किस गरौँ ।

गर्ल - लिपिस्टक खराब हुन्छ

म्यान बब्स दबाउँ ।

गर्ल- टी र्सट खराब हुन्छ ।

म्यान- फक गरुँ।

र्गर्ल- पेरियडमा छु ।

म्यान - डन्ट से लुज मोसन है ।

७) सुहागरातको दिन ढोकामा ढकढक हुन्छ दलही कुदेर पर्दामा पछाडी गएर लुकेछ ।

हसब्याण्ड- के हो

वाइफ् - मलाई लग्यो पुलिसले छापा हान्यो भनेर…………………

६)छोराले बुवा आमा ले सेक्स गरेको देखेर

छोरा- के गरेको बुवा

बुवा- त्रि्रो आमालाई पेट्रोल भर्दै छु ।

छोरा- आमाको एभे्रज चेक गर्नूस, राती पनि अंकलले भरेर जानुभएको छ ।

५) बुहारीले सासुको खुट्टा थिच्दै थियो ।सासुको साडी सबै खुस्कियो ।

बुहारी- नमस्कार

सासु- कसलाई नमस्कार गर्दै छस्

बुहारी- ससुराको रन भुमी र मेरो पतिको जन्मभुमीलाई ।

4) डक्टर वान- सिट, मलाई आफ्नो पेसेेन्ट सँग सेक्स गरेँ, मलाई आफु गल्ती फिल भईरहेछ ।

डक्टर टु- यस्तै हुन्छ, हाम्रो प्रोफेसनमा यस्तो कुरालाई सामान्य रुप मा लिउँ,

डक्टर वान- या त्यो त हो तर तिमीलाई थाहा छैन होला म भेटेनरी डक्टर हुँ भनेर…………..

3) केटी साहुजी बाह्र वटा केरा दिनु

स्फ्रुटवाला ए लिनुस्केटी यो त नरम छ अलि कडा दिनुस् न………

फ्रुटवाला - हृया म्याडम , कहीले कहीँ त खाना लाई लानुस् ।

2) क्लासमा हल्ला भईरहेथ्यो, प्रिन्सीपलले स्टुडेन्टलाई हकार्दै सोध्यो- कसको पिरियड चलिरहेछ -

लजाउँदै चार जना केटीहरु उभियो ।

१) राति होस्टेलमा बत्ति गएपछि केटीहरु चिच्यायो, कुनै मान्छेलाई बोलाउ…..

र्व्ार्डेन - रात धेरै भईसक्यो मैनबत्तिले काम चलाऊ

2. दिप जस्तो चम्किरहोस् तपाईंको जीवन कहिल्यै पिडाले खिन्न नहोस् त्यो मन…… सधैं भित्रियोस मुरीका मुरी तपाईंको घरमा धन………… सुनौलो विहानीको होस् आगमन लक्ष्मीको होस् सधैं तपाईंको घरमा बास…….. सधैं छाहिरहो तपाईंको मुहरमा उज्यालो प्रकाश यही छ मेरो तपाईंलाई 2066 tihar को शुभकामना

1.शुभकामना ! शुभकामना !! शुभकामना ! शुभकामना ! शुभकामना !! शुभकामना !!! दिर्घ, शान्ति र चएन शुखले छावस परिवार जनमा सधै सधै सुख शान्ति रहोस । हरपल हरक्षण परिवार एकैसाथ रहुन नटूटॉस , नछुटॉस माया र ममता सधैलाई । कहिले महसुस नहोस एक्लोपन मनमा माया छ जहा त्यहि छ जीवन ।यही छ मेरो तपाईंलाई 2066 tihar को शुभकामना

20. Doctor1 – shit , maile aafno patient sanga SEX gare malai aafu guilty feel bhairahe6

Doctor2 – yasto huncha hamro profession ma ,yasto kuralai

samanya rup ma leu.

Doctor1 – ya,  tyo ta ho tara timilai thaha 6ina hola ma veterinary Doctor hu bhaner…

19. Nurse lost her cat in the hospital

Nurse- any 1 got a pussy

All women stood up

Nurse- I mean any one seen a pussy?

All men stood up

Nurse – no, I mean any 1 seen my pussy

All doctors stood up

18. Buharile sasuko khutta thichdai thiyo,sadi sabai khuskiyo

Buhari – NAMASKAR

SASU –kaslai namaskar gardai chhasa ?

Buhari – sasurako rana bhumi ra mero patiko janmabhumi lai

17. Chhorale buwa aama le SEX gareko dekhera

Chhora – k gareko buwa ?

Buwa – tero aamalai petrol bhardai chhu.

Son – aamako average cheack garnus rati pani uncle le bharer janu bhayeko chha ..

16. Suhagratko din dhokama dhakdhak hunchha dulahi kudera parda pachhadi gayer luk6 .

Husband – k bho ?

Wife – malai lagyo POLICE le raid garyo .

15. Man – Kiss garu ?

Girl – Lipstick kharab hun6.

Man Boobs dabau ?

Girl – T-shirt kharab hun6

Man – Fuck garu ?

Girl – period ma chhu .

Man – Don’t say loose motions hai .

14. Man Running after a bus n catches it n ask de driver

Yo tero aama lag6?

Lagdaina.

Didi bahini lagchha?

Lagdain

Tyaso bhaye kina chadna didainas ?

13. Man1 -  bhanchhan aaimaiko haathma jadu hun6

Man2  - ekdam sahi ,3 inch ko chij  hath ma diyo bhane 9 inch ko banai dinchha   …

12. 3 Fact of LIFE

1. garib ra boobs jahile panji dabin6

1. samasya ra Lado kunai pani bela khada hun sak6.

3. bhagya ra BRA KUNAI BELA PANI KHULNA SAKCHHA.

11. Lady to nokarni – ta sabai kam ma bekar chhas .

Nokarni  - bedma tapai bhanda ramro chhu .

Lady – Talai saheb le bhanyo ?

Nokarni – Hoina, Driver le bhaneko .

10. Teacher – kun chij mukhma rakhnu hudaina ?

Student – bali raheko bulb .

Teacher – kina?

Student -  hijo rati aamale buwa sanga bhandai hunuhunthiyo “bulb nibhayeu bhane mukha ma linchhu .

9. What is de most sensitive part of de body During Masturbation ?

Ans – yr Ear –lissening for footsteps

8. Rati hostelma Batti gaye pachhi keti haru chichyayo” kunai manchhe lai bolau

Warden – Rat dherai bhai sakyo MOMBATTI le kam chalau .

7. Wife mero BRA khola

Husband – La , khole

Wife – Mero painty khola.

Husband- la yo pani khole.

Wife – khabardar ab dekhi mero  UNDERGARMENTS lagayeu bhane….

6. Harbhajan 2 his wife : Darling ! k ma timro pahilo prem ho ?

Wife : Bewakuf , Spinnerle kahile opening garchha.

5. Man was founding a lady in a crouded bus

Lady Excuese me , Tapai ramro gari rahanu bhayeko chhaina .

Man : Yati bhidma ma yo bhanda ramro garna sakdin ….

4. Chori: chheuko ketale herne bitikai mero BRA tyte hun6.

Aama: chhori BRA nalaga ani her usko underwear tite hun6.

3. Sara rat bityo timaro parkhaima tara timi aayenau , tyasaile hallayer sute

“Dirty Mind”

Light aayen ……. Pankha nikaler sutnu paryo…

2. Man 2 Lady in Bus

Man : mam,Suntala samhalnus ,they distub me.

 Lady replies angrily : timilai k matalab, suntala mero ho.

Man ho ,tara juice ta mero mikli rahe6.

1. Ek Lady le 6 wata jumliya bachchaa janmayo ra risle husbandko ma aayera jodle ek thappad hirkayo

Lady: ma timilai bhandin thea Doggy Style le na ara bhanera.

2.धेरै दिन भो मायालुलाइ, देखेको नि छैन आउँदा जादा देउरालीमा,

भेटेको नि छैन बिर्सि जाने माया भए,

माया गरेउ किन मेटी जाने तस्वीर भए, मनमा कोरेउ किन । 

1.जन्म -जन्म जिउने मर्ने, छैन नि भुलेको तिमी हाँस्दा म रुए, छैन नि

 दुखेको छुटी जाने माया भए, माया गासेउ किन मेटी जाने तस्वीर भए, मनमा कोरेउ किन।

30.नव बर्ष 2066 को उपलक्ष्यमा हार्दिक मङ्गलमय शुभकामना। साथै नवबर्षले तपाईमा नया जोश जागर र उमङ्ग ल्याओस। तपाईले चालेका प्रतेक् पाइलाहरुले सगरमाथाको शिखर चुम्न सफल होउन,साथै सुस्वास्थ्य एबम दिर्गायुको कामना गर्दछु।

29. प्रचण्ड झैँ गफाडी नहुनु , गिरिजा झैँ घमण्डी नहुनु , माधव नेपाल झैँ दोधारे नहुनु , सेर बाहादुर झैँ अनाडी नहुनु , सुर्य बाहादुर झैँ सैतान नहुनु , ज्ञानेन्द्र झैँ लाचारि नहुनु , फोरम झैँ बिखण्डनकारि नहुनु , यहि छ मेरोा NAYA BARSHA 2066 को सुभकामना

28. याद आयो भने आँखा बन्द नगर्नू , भेट भएन भने पनि दु:ख नमान्नू , हामी सधैँ सँगै हुनुपर्छ भन्ने केही छैन , तर मित्रताको ढोका बन्द नगर्नू यहि छ मेरो सुभकामना NAYA BARSHA 2066 को सुभकामना

27. I Wish in 2066
God gives You…
12 Month of Happiness,
52 Weeks of Fun,
365 Days Success,
8760 Hours Good Health,
52600 Minutes Good Luck,
3153600 Seconds of Joy…and that’s all!

26. Years come n go, but this year I specially wish 4 u a double dose of health n happiness topped with loads of good fortune. Have a gr8 year ahead! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

25. May this New Year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.

24. Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don’t get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a “BRAND NEW YEAR”.

*HAPPY NEW YEAR*

23. My wishes for you, Great start for Jan, Love for Feb, Peace for March, No worries for April, Fun for May, Joy for June to Nov, Happiness for Dec, Have a lucky and wonderful 2066

22. I wish U to have a …..
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvellous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR

21. In ‘The Universal Bank of God’…
God stores his blessings & deposited 365 days full of love, faith & happiness for you…
So, Enjoy spending…
Happy New Year.

20. A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body & Heart full of Love..All these are my Prayers for You..Wish a Happy New Year 2066

19. Throughout the Coming Year may your life be filled with little celebration of Happiness…Wishes you a Bright, Happy and Prosperous New Year 2066 with God Bless.

18. Before the sun sets in this year, before the memories fade, before the networks get jammed…..Wish u and ur family Happy Sparkling New Year 2066…..

17. New Year begins, let us pray, that it will be a year with new Peace, New Happiness, and abundance of new friends. God bless you through out the new Year.

16. Wishing you Happy New Year, May u always keep in ur heart the special beauty and cheer of New Year.

15. New Year is the time to unfold new horizons & realize new dreams, to rediscover the strength & faith within u, to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up 4 a new challenges. Wishin u a truly fulfilling 2066

14. When the mid-nite bell rings tonight…
Let it signify new and better things for you,
let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,
Let it signify a year of courage and believes,
Wishing you a very…very…very prosperious 2066

13. New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

12. People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. Happy New Year!!12. Little keys open big locks
Simple words reflect great thoughts
Your smile can cure heart blocks
So keep on smiling it rocks.
Happy New Year 2065

11. 2065 is at the door…
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and
never regret anything that made you smile.

10. Thre have been many time in 2007
when I may disturbed you
troubled u
irritated u
bugged u
.
.
.
.
today I just wanna tell you
.
.
.
.
I plan to continue it in 2065.

9. I wish U to have a …..
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvellous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR

8. We will open the book.
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity
and
its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

7. Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don’t get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a “BRAND NEW YEAR”.
*HAPPY NEW YEAR*

6. Before the sun sets in this year,
before the memories fade,
before the net works get jammed
Wish u and ur family Happy Sparkling New Year 2065

5. Each moment in a day has its own value.
Morning brings HOPE,
Afternoon brings FAITH,
Evening brings LOVE,
Night brings REST,
Hope you will have all of them everyday.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2065

4. When the mid-nite bell rings tonight..
Let it signify new and better things for you,
let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,
Let it signify a year of courage and believes,
Wishing you a very…very…very prosperous 2065

3. Keep the smile,
leave the tear,
Think of joy,
forget the fear,
Hold the laugh,
leave the pain,
Be joyous ,
Coz its new year!
HAPPY NEW YEAR

2. Tom Cruise
Angelina Jolie
Aishwarya Rai
salman khan rajesh hamalJennifer Lopez
Amitabh Bachhan
& me..
All the Stars wish u a Very Happy New Year.

1. Beauty..
Freshness..
Dreams..
Truth..
Imagination..
Feeling..
Faith..
Trust..
This is begining of a new year!

30. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.

12.Let’s share the world . A sea is for you, and waves are for me. The sky is for you, and stars are for me. The sun is for you, and light is for me. Everything is for you, and you are for me.

11.My heart for you will never break. My smile for you will never fade. My love for you will never end. I love you!        

10.May this Valentine bless us with the cupid of love and warmth of romance. Happy Valentine’s Day Honey!       

9. To be honest with you, I don’t have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that’s aching to see you smile again

8. The way you look into my eyes, It scares me The way you say “I love you”, It scares me The way you know just what to say, It scares me The ways you scare me, I love it       

 6. I have seen angels in the sky, I have seen snowfall in july, I have seen things you only imagine to see, But I have not seen anything sweeter than you.         

5. your love is like a river peaceful and deep, your soul is like a secret that I never could keep, When I look into your eyes I know its true, you were made for me and I for you

4. A kiss is just a kiss till u find the 1 u luv. A hug is just a hug till u find the 1 u’re always thinkin of. A dream is just a dream till it comes true. Luv was just a word till I heard it from u.     

 3. Do u know what r the meanings of VALENTINE Ans: You r V:very E:eminent L:lovely E:energetic N:nice T:tamizdar I:inteligent N:noble E:everloving     

 2. Do u know what r the meanings of VALENTINE Ans: You r V:very E:eminent L:lovely E:energetic N:nice T:tamizdar I:inteligent N:noble E:

1. Promised you once, I promise you twice, this love will never end that i feel so deep inside, I loved you yesterday and even more today and i never want this feeling to go away, Baby you are my Everything, my Angel from above, you feel my life with so much love.  

7. A smile is a curve that
sets everything straight
and wipes wrinkle away
hope u share a lots and
receive a lots 4 days 2 come Happy birthday.     6. Let the God decorate each
golden ray of the sun reaching u
with wishes of success,
happiness and prosperity 4 u,
wish you a super duper happy birthday.

     5. It’s a dedicated ceremony,
an anniversary, but not wedding.
The easy way to tell is
its birthday.
Have a smile in all the way
& have a lovely birthday.    

  4. Before the clock strikes 12,
let me take the opportunity,
to let you know that you,
have grown a year more…
Happy birthday 

 3. For the world, it’s just another day,
But for me today is the best day of the year!
.
.
.
.
Happy Birthday my love.    

 2. Some things r left undone,
some words r left unsaid,
some feelings are left unexpressed,
but some ones as nice as you
could never be left unwished, Happy birth day to u!  

  1. The child was born,
parents were blessed
and
I am so lucky to have u
as my friend.
Happy Birthday to you     

13.     With my   1 Heart…
   2 eyes…
   5 liter blood…
   206 bones…
   1.2million Red Cells…
   60 trillion D.N.A.’s…
   I wish u “All the very best of LUCK 12.There is no perfect life but we
can fill it with perfect moments.     

 11. Love yourself first and
everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself
to get anything done in this world.
Good Luck    

10. Meaning of some colors,
Yellow for special friend,
white for peace,
orange 4 luck,
black for hate,
red for love and
pink for likeness,
So I choose for u Orange Flower.
Wish u good luck       

9. Life never seems to be
the way we want it,
but we live it in the
best way we can.      

8. To accomplish great things,
we must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,
Best wishes for your exam.     

7. May God stay with u this day
&
give u peace of mind.May God give u a happy heart
&
his love all the time. Good luck     

6. A sweeter smile,
A brighter day,
Hope everything turns out better 4 u 2morrow.
May ALLAH be with you always?       

5. Never say u r happy when u r sad..
Never say u r fine when u r not ok.
Never say u feel good when u feel bad.
Never say u r alone when I m still alive…
good luck and best wishes for ever………….     

4.Fly in the plane of Ambition
&
Land in the Airport of Success…
Luck is yours, Wish is mine…
May Ur future always shine?Good Luck     

3.Stealing the blue from the splashing seas,
A tinge of green from the youthful trees,
A bit of orange from the sunset hues,
With crystal white from the morning dews,
I have framed a bright and colorful wish
Just for you……………Good Luck!     

2. When things go wrong…
when sadness fills ur heart…
when tears flow in ur eyes…always remember 3 things
1—GOD
2—ur parents
3—my sincere prayers…
GOOD LUCK
&
God bless u.     

1. Trusting God won’t make the mountain smaller
but
it will make climbing easier.
Hope you will be able to climb
all your mountains always.   

32. Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse? A: He is given his last chance to
run away!        

31. Man: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married. Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.        

30. A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person, who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND!      

29. One day a man inserted
and advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”       

28. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
you know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didn’t notice.      

 27. “When a man holds a woman hands?”When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense  

26.It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs. ARRANGED.It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered        

25. Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man        

24. Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.         

23.The Equation of Marriage: 7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage – And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems. So beware of glance!        

22. First marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the
triumph of hope over experience         

21. Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.        

20. Marriage is like going to
a restaurant your choice
from the menu,
And
then look at neighboring
table n wish you’d ordered that…         

19. What a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn’t Trust me & I don’t Understand her. 

18. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!). 

17. Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.  

24.A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.  

23.A woman was telling her friend , “It was I who made my husband a millionaire.”And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, ” A multi-millionaire”.      
 

22. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.  

21. Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I’m looking for a loophole      

20. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.  

19. A little kid asks his Dad, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
“No idea,” replied the Father, “I’m still paying for it…”  

18. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married – now he is going through Hell!!!  

17.Q: Why do brides wear white?
A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.  

16.One day a man inserted an ‘advert’ in the local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”  

15.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -
Well, it’s the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving  

14.Marriage – an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.  

13. After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
The husband replied: “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”      

12.A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. -   

11.Marriage changes passion … suddenly you’re in bed with a relative  

10.Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.  

9.Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.      

8. A husband’s last words should always be ‘OK buy it’. 

7. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. 

6. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.  

5. The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake .

4.After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.. 

3. The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him       

2. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.       

1.I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.